Holdin my breath

V1
I hold my tears till im underwater
So yall don't never see me cryin
Holdin my breath till I can resurface
But I can feel myself dyin

Too long without oxygen in my lungs
Maybe im tired
Maybe its time for me to breathe easy
But I could never let you see me

Give in to bein underfire
No matter how short I breathe I get
Cause to let it show is to let you know
At times how weak I really get

And im trying to be strong for the both of us
Hold on for the both of us
But how long can I hold by breathe
For the both of us

Its too much on my shoulders here
And I just cant cope with it
Knowin deaths round the corner
And im standin so close to him

Im supposed to show no emotion
But its getting harder to focus
Cause the reality of my life here
Is that I have no control of it

Feel the need to come up for air
But with you there I must hold it
And yeah I know how close I come everyday
But I could never let you know it

Its too much for you to feel my pain
So I send you all smiles
Holdin my breathe telling you its alright
But the truth is im drownin

Chorus
Sample is saying "holdin my breath for you"
"so you never see me crying"

v2
this is so close to bein over
but we aint left here yet
and its been rainin the whole time
but I managed to never get wet

while those around me soaked
from the moment the first convoy left
but who knows cause the way things goin
any day now I could be next

and I aint trying to see yall back home
with my problems on your chest
so the truth evolves into what I think you need to hear
just to relax

so for you im always at my best
I continue to see clearly
But I could never lie to myself
And the truth is im more than a little worried

But that part of my heart
Stays closed when im on the phone with my family
How can I expect them to handle something
Im havin a hard time handling

And as strong as I may be
Can carry this weight forever
Cause im fallin apart underneath it
Trying to piece myself back together

Hopin for the best
But at times the worst seems to get the better of me
So its everything I got not to let you see
Whats really troubling me

Can feel my lungs under pressure
And they are beggin me to breathe
But I cant, not with you standin there
So I hold my breath till you leave.