Mind cellar

My problems just seem so calculated
And i knew it from the start
Maybe not by mind, but i knew it by heart
Mind cellar, here i dwell
Unseen horror, my private hell

You can call me a liar or a fool
But know that to me it's real
It's sickening me, but this is me
Mind cellar, here i dwell
In darkness, i'm not well

My scars define who i am
There's no backtrace - i was born wounded
Your angels cause me pain
You are probably insane
Thanks for taking the pills away
But that did not heal me at all
I can't see
How it should be
Or who is responsible
All i do is
Channeling energy
So blame me
I will not conform
Or believe what you believe
Because what i am makes you wrong
I've shown you evidence, pictures from the past
I told you many times, but i suppose you were
Deafened by the symphonies of common logic
It's not cryptic, pretty simplistic, you just refuse to absorb
Not surrealistic, truth centric, this is the way it is
You have got to accept my death, i can't leave you burned
There's no glory for me to take in this, there's no glory in death
I won't expect you to shed a tear, this is not an empathy thing
I don't understand your obsession with blame, i never put you to shame
Like you did to me when you chose sides
Let me close my eyes, be no obstacle
In the path that i must crawl to be free
Now when i look over my shoulder
Nothing's changed, all is logical
I'm sorry to disappoint you like this
But i can't help having found my facts
I - can't - revert all this
I - can't - revert all this
I - can't - revert all this
Mind cellar, down here i dwell
Mind cellar
And now i hide from you
Hoping you'll forget
Forgive me who i am
Forget what you saw of me
Turn your eyes away
Lay your focus off of me
So i can leave more easily
To take the pain away