And then all my hope is gone

I will point a gun to my head
Or a knife to my heart
'Cause death is the only way out
My life is not worth
Anymore

I can't see a cure
No way to set me free
From this lack of joy
That I feel
Everything goes wrong
I just can't understand
I've gotta know the reason
Why am I alive?
I can't stand this anguish
No need to pray for life

No choice but
Praying for death
When things look fine
And I'm ok
Suddenly a desaster
Ruins all of my plans
And then all my hope is gone

I tried suicide once more
But I'm not man enough
A coward, and I gave up
No guts to face my death
I"m just a loser

I wish I was not weak
I wish I was not me
And then everything
Would be ok
I guess I could be strong
And fight for what I want
But it sounds
So hard to me
I can't stand this anguish

No need to pray for life
No choice but
Praying for death
When things look fine
And I'm ok
Suddenly a desaster
Ruins all of my plans
And then all my hope is gone

All of my friends have tried to help me
Well, I like 'em but they just don't know
That I've refused all kinds of treatment
It's hard to believe in my own life
Self-belief is what I lack
It's not an easy thing for me to get
I'm unable to accept what is normal
Afraid of defeat is how I feel

Bad things happen to everyone
They deal with them so fine
What's the magic?
I would like to know
What to do!

I wish I was not weak
I wish I was not me
And then everything
Would be ok
I guess I could be strong
And fight for what I want
But it sounds
So hard to me

I can't stand this anguish
No need to pray for life
No choice but
Praying for death
When things look fine
And I'm ok
Suddenly a desaster
Ruins all of my plans
And then all my hope is gone