The marriage

The night before we had discussed it extensively over the phone
that was where me and melanie kept our relationship safe
revelations took place during commercial breaks
and we'd say we were running away and settling
in the theatre where they shot david letterman
our only hope for some understanding
he'd take care of us,parents
but the marriage itself
it was hurried and casual
i don't know where she came up the ritual
after the bell and before second period
out in the hall she gave me a petal
we swalloed to pieces of flowers together
and then we were married
until she said one of us lied to the other
that meant that the petals inside us were dead

i got married
i got scared to death
i got sick
from all the petals i haven't eaten
say yes to me, take this,in destiny
say i do, make me believe it

ten months of marriage and no consummation
right there for the taking
this scared 7th grader could not kiss her
just the thought of first base
and surprise, i'm MIA from the stadium
and greenside, an open drainage pipe, beckoning inside
waiting, i pussied out nervous
alone, above ground, to the place where the sewers resurfaced i walked
afraid of the dark, afraid i'd stay pushing away what i wanted
but clearly more fearful of acting, of getting it
behind the library we sat together
and she liked the veins in my wrist, she touched them
her first boyfriend bill, before his expulsion
brought her here for what she called mouthrape
so i never tried it, beside her afraid
i saw her a year ago, might have been more
she was working at janda, a cockiesville florist
said nothing of course, tongue sore from the biting
well aware of the corpse of those petals inside me

i got married
i got scared to death
i got sick
from all the petals i haven't eaten
say yes to me, take this in destiny
say i do, make me believe it