The way back machine

Sometimes you can't avoid the backslide
i've been mining through my boyhood fantasies
and finding that some of them still feel good to me
still fit perfect, working like a charm
draped around my shoulders, old friends keep me warm
in my parents car
five full years of screaming with the stereo up
so when i run i just push pedals, my feet barely budge

i've trid keeping the world out
of my sovereign nation station wagon
the place where i felt safe and keep moving
the scenery changes so i don't have to
still can't drink, stil convinced
If I don't do it myself doing it's worthless
cuz the rug will come out in the end from under
you set yourself up when you're counting on others

i'm not sad, i'm passed desensitized
friends drop like flies, they've got their own lives
and at the end of the day it's just me and my flat line
send electricity, let me not smile
let something puncture the numbing force field
we erect as young men to protect how we feel
i've been mining by boyhood dreams
and i found one that never made sense to me
up until now

that car takes a corner carelessly
tearing its wheels from the street
from the air to the trees by the side of the road
twisted heaps of debris, shattered glass
and the cold wet grass on my face
some blood in my mouth, the taste washed out
by the headlights passing on by

i'm lying, resting in the wreckage
half asleep and completely defenseless
no protection from scavengers, weather
and a few days of rain
which worsens the smell of it all
but no one complains, a crew will be called
to scrape these remains eventually
some cars slow down and kids crane their necks to see
most just swerve left unimpressed, forgetting me

you can make your very own poisonous, despicable man
begin by keeping him a boy for as long as you can
and when the voice in his head says that everything's wrong
let him think we'd be convinced but only with the right song