My fucking life isn't worth anything

I don't know why but I feel frozen in certain situations
My arms and muscles begin to tremble
I feel strange, it's not normal
Not that I am scared
More than anything I can express with words
I don't know what to do
What, who and how to say
The people should make me smile
Just make me cry
I feel stuck in a small world
With people who do not understand me
They do everything for which I feel worse
Nothing and nobody can calm my nerves
I see my reflection in the mirror
There appears to be nothing here of mine
I mean I was never a happy person
But at least I can disguise
Now not that I can more
It's incredible you know I can't join me with other people
Pretending everything is ok with me
It is as if I were falling apart
And not could do anything to change that
Inside I feel as if you were dying
Dying little by little
With every bad feeling that approximates
I see the years pass
It seems that things only change for worse
The same mistakes are repeated
The same causes have continuity
I try to grab me to what I can
To not have more disturbances
But things no longer have nexus
The music, my great love, no longer has me excited
I used to write every day, from 12 years
I used to dream that the songs were musics
But I never can give it rhythm
I never could make anything
In this kind of life
Even now while writing
My hands tremble, I try to contain the
But it seems impossible
My mental state was never quite normal
But in recent times has worsened very
The more time passes
I came to the conclusion that all that is in the fucking of my life is not worth anything
All that is in the fucking of my life is not worth anything