This has no worth?

sometimes I cannot hold you
cause of my paralyzed arms
my thougths get out of my mind
and my head is bleeding inside
for thinking about you, thinking about me
thinking about what was right
so let's go back in timeline

don't let my ego destroy
your feeling of peace
you never needed this...

last night I had a bad dream
it made me sweat and feel so rotten
at the dream you killed yourself
and I got screaming all night long
my mouth is so dry
to talk so much
and nothing comes to my mind
not even one stupid pride

alone in my room
I think it's worthless
and then I ask...

Why?