Cold despair

Tears are falling as I sit here again
The night just has fallen and lonely I am
I need to adjust myself and practise to be alone
My mind is messed up and my head heavy as a stone
I scream out loud and I wish someone could hear my despair
I'm searching for some silence and I'm searching for some care
Nobody really knows me who I really am
I got so many words unspoken in my head
Do you want to know what I fear
Can you understand my tears
I'm easy to bring down
I'm everybody's clown
Don't ask me to do things that I dislike
I'm already feeling bad and worse I might
I'm not much of a rejecter so I got myself to blame
I'm weak and wounded and to that you can add lame
I scream out loud and I wish someone could hear my despair
I'm searching for some silence and I'm searching for some care
Nobody really knows me who I really am
I got so many words unspoken in my head
Do you want to know what I fear
Can you understand my tears
I'm easy to bring down
I'm everybody's clown
Close my eyes, close my ears, close my mouth
And I wish it all disappear
I can no longer cope with this life
And I'm so filled with fear
Can you tell by looking at me
That something is wrong
I have eyes but the things that I see
Won't please my mind