Soul of purity

Carefree days seem to last forever
But behind the superficial emotions
Lies the soul of purity
Having been positioned in various places
In the pain of irrationality
I doubt
If my own existance is of any value
Never drowned in the flood of alcohol
Never pursuing my soul in the apparent laughter
I, however, comfort myself in the smoke of a ciggarette
Without reason, anyway
Here lies my soul of purity
Everything that I imagine
Is shedding it's beam
On my whole heart, I feel it's up to myself
To catch up with and get ahead of all those things, I wonder
What I see beyond the black glass