Twisted dream

Struggling to open my eyes
The feeling I've long despised
Desperately feeling the walls
Come crumbling down
I played the game and held this back
I always feared my will would crack
And the shame would fit me
Like a perfect crown

The shame I felt
I buried it deep inside
Consuming me

How can I breathe
How can I see an end
When regret consumes
And overloads my mind
How can I move
How can I start again
When these visions haunt me
Like a twisted dream

Wearing the past like a weight
Keeping me held in this state
Relapses hitting me
One by one in line
I've reached the point
Of no return
I always thought my heart
Would learn
To fight the urge
To drag me down another time

The pain I felt
It's all rushing back to me
It just won't end

How can I breathe
How can I see an end
When regret consumes
And overloads my mind
How can I move
How can I start again
When these visions haunt me
Like a twisted dream

(Thought I'd conquered)
The deafening silence
The ticking of the clock

(Mind it wanders)
Back and forth
Between what's real or not

(Pain it hurt me)
Over and over
I'm feeling it flooding back

(Over and over and over again)
Pulling me under again

And now it haunts me
In my dreams

(Dreams and nightmares)
Nothing's really ever as it seems

(Seems it should be)
I thought I put it all to rest

(All to rest now)
But now it's taken me over again

How can I breathe
How can I see an end
When regret consumes
And overloads my mind
How can I move
How can I start again
When these visions haunt me
Like a twisted dream