Mother's day song

Mother's Day is here
Everybody give a cheer
For the ladies that we call our Mother Dear

I tried to find a card
But you know, it's really hard
To find the one that captures all the love that's in my heart

And so instead, I'm singing you this song
Because I am so grateful to you, Mom…

So I say
Thanks for having intercourse with dad
Without a condom, sponge or IUD
Your lack of objection to sex without protection
Made a sperm and egg turn into me

You gave me life, love, a home, and food and clothing every day
I gave you stretch marks and extra weight that never quite went away

I mean it
Thanks for having intercourse with dad
The carnal act that brought me here to you
I don't know if it was varied or merely missionary
But it sure was good for me was it for you?

I'm elated that you mated
Your love you consummated
You got inseminated
Then waited and inflated
Inside you I gestated
Until from your womb I cascaded

Thank you Mom…for doing…my Dad!
(I'm so glad that he had you, thanks for doing my Dad)