Reluctance towards a force

I lit a matchbook to see if I would burn
they say the brightest flame always has the last word (no)
consequence of absence drops a pin on my wooden floor
not that I am counting days...three-hundred and sixty-four

this...the defining moment so carefully observed
reluctance...reluctance I dismiss
this...the calculated science
an error sewn too deep
reluctance...reluctance I am filled with...

I tackle thoughts in sleep...not strong enough to win
to think I can compete would require confidence

this...the defining moment so carefully observed
reluctance...reluctance I dismiss
this...the calculated science
an error sewn too deep
reluctance...reluctance I am filled with...