I loved

Did I ever care enough to stop myself?
Did my begging heart get the better of me?
My hate can't exist if I'm alone in this body
My hate can't exist alone
Every breath of this plagued air that you're breathing in
You're breathing death
As sorry as I already am, I can't stop this from happening
Nothing ever lasts in my head full of lies
And in my selfish begging heart
The same heart that want's you in my blood
It wants you to feel. It wants to hold you
I'm not lonely for once but I know it won't stay
And I'm sleeping at nights but my love fades away
The days become longer
My hands are so frail
There's a numbness surrounding and I've nothing to say
I felt love for a while
But it died in the promises
I felt love for a while but it died
Had I loved you before it ever had a chance just to be love?