Dennis

She left me for a compulsive liar
She was an impulsive fool
She believed all the nonsense he fed her
Because she’d never done too well at school
She said that I had no ambition
She said that I lacked any drive
I just concentrated on my honesty
And doing enough to stay alive

If you’re feeling down, then I’m sorry
But dennis got his name on a lorry
And that is more than you will ever do
Did you ever stop to think
Through the madness and the drink
That not everything he tells you might be true?

She left me for a politician
They’re not allowed to lie, that’s the law
Frankly, this statement shocked me so much
That I lost all control of my jaw
He revolutionised the fire department
He’s going places, you can go to hell!
After this astonishing outburst
My face followed my jaw, and fell

I know that you think I’m pretending
And you’ve seen his name on a fire engine
But you shouldn’t believe everything he said
I’ve had enough of sparing your feelings
Even if he’s involved in dodgy dealings
He’s also better in bed.
Hey! Oh.

We were like romeo & juliet
Without the suicide
She was an innocent bonnie
To my law-abiding clyde
We were tragic lovers
But the real tragedy
Is that dennis won her love
And not me.