Mad as a hatter

I take you under the covers
Removing what ever shame you had left
There is beauty in the dark
Where my mothers defining features don't reflect

You look at my body, and you're not disgusted
You can find pretty things in the most obscene

I never knew there could be someone like you
Your lips tremble, as my body and words dissemble

I touch you in places my hands could ever dream of reaching
For under the covers your body feels like it's breaching

I am so sorry for behaving this way
I know that it's a reflection of my mothers and fathers shame
I don't want to be defined by my fathers complexion
Anger: Has raised so many moment, destroyed so many atonements

I am so tired of waking up alone in my bed, hugging a pillow
I think I need to swallow some lead

I am so afraid of making a 12-gauge decision
Whether or not to give you a marked zero salvation
Or to give myself a glockjaw with a pink mist ending

But you lie there sleeping
And I have to go back to dreaming
For no one can touch us there
And all of my inherited features are obsolete
It is truly here that I am free
I try to get you attention, I try make you understand
But how come I am the only one
The only one who fights for his sleep?
And how come that when I am finally dreaming
You're not sleeping?
And how come that when you are dreaming
You are never dreaming of me?

I am so afraid of making a 12-gauge decision
Whether or not to give you a marked zero salvation
Or to give myself a glockjaw with a pink mist ending