A facade for the ages

I get so tired of telling you everything about who I am.
It gets a little repetitive, as you can imagine.
The same degradation and aggravation lead to a combination of manipulation and sad frustration.
Ive gotten bored with every detail from my past, and at last, a moment of silent clarity to rip my heart out
The same painful commitments to the worst kinds of prisons keep me thinking over regretted line that Ive written
Spill your guts out and see how it feels to finally be real with me
After all those years of faking, youve made not one promise without forsaking it
Im sick of you pretending that youre making it
youll never make it out alive. Ive fallen so close to glory, but never so close to failure
And every time I get close to you, I can almost smell defeat
And every line that I wished I had whispered slithers slowly through your teeth
Say the things I always wished that I could feel and try to show me what its like to be real
Make me brave if it is within your power
Im sick and tired of being a coward.
The taste beneath my tongue is getting so sour that I almost wish to death that I were with you
Your attempts to toughen me up have fallen short and every feeble ploy to swing me has failed
The choice was yours and the ball was in your court. Look what happened, look where we are
What happened? What failed?
And why cant I get over it?
Why cant I get over us?
I make believe that things are alright,
just so I can make it through one more night without crying before I turn out the light.
Is this how its supposed to feel to love you?