Swallowing cyanide to stay alive

tonight with you is like
swallowing cyanide to stay alive
it makes no sense.
what are we doing here?
and how did this become so important?
let's sort it out
before it gets too big to deal with.
i never wanted you to be more
than a phone call away
now that you're not,
it's becoming a problem for me.

against my will, i've memorized this script,
and i find myself accidentally in character.
i never wanted it to be like this,
but now i find that i care for her.
oh, what a disaster that i've created,
and i hate it (and i hate it, and i hate it)
because i love it.
and i swore to myself i'd never love anything
so soon.

this march air, it freezes my ears
so all i can hear is the
ice cold tone of your voice.
and it would be a bad choice
to continue, to be into
me and you. so,
watch me turn my back and retreat,
then turn back, because i'm weak
when it comes to you.