Requiem for a drink

it's been a while since i had the guts
to skip these ruts
and get right back to getting it right
to stand on my two feet
and preach from a soapbox about
someone so sweet
that she'd break your teeth from a taste
and she'd break my heart with a heightened haste
i wont let this go to waste
cuz its already too hard to look at my face
in the mirror

so consider this a requiem to my self-medicating days
im done drinking myself to death,
smoking myself out of every maze.
the chemicals consume me and i get so depressed
so consider this a retirement
from the remedy that i know best

call me crazy but i dont find it so bad
not being high all the time anymore
and, sure, i'm feeling feelings
that were numb to me before
and they aren't always the greatest
but at least i'm feeling something at my core
besides a void, a boy too
scared to deal with life's little ploys
so calculatedly coy
realizing not every second's filled with joy
and it's alright

so now that i'm not hiding in a hole
with a brown bottle and a heart so cold
i feel like maybe i'm ready to speak a couple sentences
about being more than acquaintances
cuz i've seen what true inspiration is
it's not at the end of a fifth
or in the pieces that polarized our complacency
i've found a much better fit
and this clarity that i've conjured is amazing me