Pain

Been looking at our picture lately, it hangs on my wall
Keep telling myself maybe you'll answer my calls

But it's useless, you as cold as the winter seasons
Only difference is you're able to get my heart freezing

Besides liquor, writing lyrics can warm me up
But a temporary fix only sticks for about a month

It's a task to just breathe, what have you done to me?
The pain you caused is lodged forever in my body

God help me, it's so cold I can't feel my fingers
I try to rid these demons but satan he lingers

He taunts me, he sit's on my shoulder and haunts me
I feel available to sin, with no spirits to stop me
Sometimes I wish a killer would come in and drop me
The pain he would cause would be way less than I've fought geez
Please, death, cuz' the struggle has sought me
I need you to take my life, hopefully Jesus has bought me

So cold, I wont fold, I tell myself
Every day is like a game, goals to put trophy to shelf
But I seize, my mind tends to freeze at the bells
At the whistles that are blowing to spawn the creatures from hell

Damn, I'm stuck, writers block got me twiddlin' thumbs
Placed in a serious scenario so I'm fillin' up cups
Tryna drown in the stress, I'm writing in a bunk
Thought the trees I smoked would help, but I'm only getting stumped

Might be crazy, lazy, maybe cuz nobody pays me?
But my brains deep in a road of thoughts that you paved me
So pray please, help a friend jump a lifestyle of maybe's
Late to the table, I'm still reading on page three

Way behind, you sacrificed nothing, I gave it all
Put my name into the dirt for a woman who played me off
I may be soft, but that doesn't mean that my speech is false
I speak what's just ignored, and the reality is taking off?