A longing for the still

This isn't the place where I thought I would be
Caught in the chase and forgot how to breathe
A blink and a laugh, it's now all but a memory
I'm not the man who I swore I would be
Who lived everyday like the last one he'd see
But I'm not a liar, the truth is a thief

If you asked how I saw myself - where I’d be
Losing hope and lost at 23
Honestly, this is reality catching up with me
I can’t find ways to harness time
Everyday, falling further back to yesterday
Absent minded of all that I have
I can’t get it back

My childhood: A past life
An alternate universe
Days slipping away, like sand through my fingertips
Like sand, slipping away

The only way I can make this last is to push myself until there’s nothing left
Make a mark on my fucking life
This is the last chance standing in a world of lies
I bleed myself dry
Draining the love I’ve got, until my face goes white and my heart just rots

Until my heart fucking rots

So if you asked how I saw myself living out every single fucking day in hell
I know that I’ve been here too long
It's time to get out right now

I need to get out now

The world is waiting, and I can’t wallow in my self-deception, Swallowing me whole

Let it all sink in
We spend too much time living inside our minds
We waste in time as a vessel for the soul and live as apparitions. We live to conquer
We live to embrace the human connection
And we live to face annihilation
Watch the wind carry on
Feel time slip through your fingertips
Stretch your limbs high and breathe deep as your body seeps into the soil
Greet the light with all the respect it deserves

This isn’t the place where I thought I would be
Caught in the chase and forgot how to breathe
A blink and a laugh, it's now all but a memory
I’m still not the man who I swore I would be
But with each passing day, the clearer I see
I know the truth and that’s all that I need

Don’t hold back your dreams for fear of failure
The only anchor you’ll set is your own
Learn to let go