Machine of self destruct

Regurgitating pieces of my soul
My sickness of myself always churns
I realised life was limited and thus, began to limit myself
To becoming a machine of self destruct
I lost myself to stay relentless
And yet these tears still fall
But they do not take me away with them.
Emotion no longer moves me
Im dying within a dead pain
Ive lost the reason to wish I could change.
Within the same old sadness where I cannot be helped
For without something missing: there is nothing there.
My demise is my only thought
How hard I fight the temptation to end it all
Without knowing what I'm fighting for.
Only to stay in a pain Ive had so long
Atleast If I die I wont need this anymore.
The only way through this is to become cold
But walking forward only leads nowhere.
It always gets worse.
Ide give anything to go back
But I have nothing left to offer.
I exsist in a time that has gone
Only in helpless things can I pretend to have hope.
Pain is so worthlessly easy to feel
I endure myself for nothing.